Today is my 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY since I made my Newgrounds account, at least according to the date on my page. Kinda crazy to think about I've been around on here for 10 years, then again Newgrounds just celebrated 30 years so as they say, time waits for no man. I figured I'd take a moment to highlight some of the best moments I remember. Luckily, I've taken several screenshots to fill the post and kinda keep the story going. Before I start, huge thanks to @TomFulp and the friends I've made on Newgrounds, and the community as a whole. This place has been like a little home for all my creative bursts and demented ideas, which you all seem to accept and indulge. Much love <3

2015

I think the first time I recognized Newgrounds as a site that was more than just for flash games was when I was listening to Sleepycast. Their stories that took place on the site made me curious enough to check it out. Once I learned it was also an art and animation portal, I decided to make my own account. I had posted some of my art online before then but thankfully that's all lost to time. I can't even remember the usernames I had used for DeviantArt or Tumblr (yes, I had both) but I do remember one username, Generatawarp I think. But it sounded too close to "genital warts" so I thought this would be a good time to change that with a new account.

I don't talk about this much so this is fun. The name "Arzonaut" comes from two things. It was a combination of two other username ideas I thought would be a good fit. I thought it be cool to reference something so I went through a ton of stuff I liked at the time and just tried to get some ideas. One of them was Heavy Metal magazine. I love the 80s movie and the comics too. Which is where the first part of my name comes from, Arzach, from the comics. The second part of the name comes from Black Sabbath's, Supernaut,

Anyway, I didn't want people to look up either and not be able to find me. I combined the two and it sounded cool, and the rest is history.

There's not much else I remember about 2015, I was a sophomore in high school and I don't think I took art seriously yet. There is ONE drawing posted in 2015 and it's ASS. It wasn't until a few months later that I changed all that.

2016

I met two key figures in my art journey then, @frootlupin and @Kazukoto. If you wanna blame anyone for the things I draw, blame these two. Frootlupin helped shape my humor, and introduced me to a whole bunch of stuff to get into like games and movies outside my scope. But Kaz was the one that got me seriously into art, specifically digital art, more specifically H3NT@1. Inspired by guys like Spazkid, Zone-tan, and yes even Shad. I wanted to get better at drawing pinup illustrations. I still don't know the main motivating factor behind that. Sure, I was still a teenager and I'm sure any teen who draws is gonna draw porn because duh, puberty. But it stuck with me for some reason. I don't think artists choose their muse, it just shows up and next thing you know it becomes a part of you.

Four whole drawings were posted here. Not a whole lot to faun over, no idea what else I was doing at the time as it was practically 10 years ago. But still, I remember those little draw-calls I had. Just learning a few things and slowly getting better at digital art.

2017

I graduated high school. I only bring this up because that was the moment I felt like it was now or never to take art seriously. If I was gonna have any shot at doing this as something more than a hobby, than I would have to get better. Granted, my outlook on that has swayed back and forth since, but back then I seriously meant that. Around the end of the year I really started to pick up momentum, posting art more frequently. I also started to let go of my own limits and tried to loosen up my style, drawing more of what I'd like to see. Don't get me wrong, it was still dog doo-doo, but I really felt like I was trying to get better.

I remember when @PhantomArcade posted a comment on my Yagiko drawing and I was like "woah, that's the dude who animated Rebident Ebil." You may not like that toon but I sure did lol.

I was taking inspiration from more and more animators in my art. As dedicated as I thought I was back then, there was something I was seriously putting off. I wasn't animating as much as I should've. I've been animating digitally way longer than illustrating, and I've always wanted to be more of an online animator at the time than just an artist. I used the excuse that my art wasn't good enough yet, so I shouldn't animate until I got better at drawing. Don't use that excuse, absolutely stupid. You can still draw like shit and be a fantastic animator, especially if it's funny.

2018

Some notable things happened in 2018. One of my drawings got frontpaged for the first time. I put out my first "popular" work, Braixen Breeds. A comic where Braixen gets fucked, yes I know how putrid - how vile. And I started getting commissioned for the first time. But more importantly than that, I felt like it was time to finally start animating again. If you look at the screen shot there, you can see my first animation uploaded to Newgrounds. It's lost to time now but it was a clip taken from It's always sunny. I made it for college, and uploaded it as a test just to feel out the room. Around the beginning of that year, the Dragonball Z Collab dropped and I was really disappointed in myself that I didn't even try to make a cartoon for it. Like I mentioned before, Sleepycabin brought me to the site, and I really thought it would be awesome to be a part of a collab like the Street Fighter Collab and the Metal Gear Collab. That's why, when The Smash Bros Collab sign-up was announced I immediately procrastinated till I wanna say a month before the first estimated deadline, stunning.

Half-drunk and way late into the night, I messaged Dave practically begging him to let me do something for the collab, even it was like a background or simple thing, and wouldn't you know it he actually replied back. That's so unlike you Dave! No seriously though, I was stoked he gave me the opportunity to prove myself. I wasn't officially in yet so I had to provide something to get that approval. All I had was a bare-bones script and some sketches, which wasn't much to go for because anyone can write a script - and I still don't think parody cartoons are my strong suit. But once I showed Dave the little scene of Wii Fit Trainer eating out Samus I got the OK.

That's what really got my foot in the door with the community, I felt like I was finally doing something right. I got to meet a bunch of artists I liked and new ones too, even @spazkid added me as a friend, that was mind blowing. Somehow I think I finished just before the supposed deadline, and we pushed the date back even further lol. Seeing the Collab drop right after Christmas was like the ultimate, last-minute Christmas present. I watched it with my bros and we laughed the whole way through. But nothing beats the Smash Bros style announcer shouting "ARZONAUT" on the character select, truly a great feeling. I know I come off as dick-riding here, but seriously thanks for letting me in the collab, man.

About a day after, I released the uncensored version. I never intended to do this, I wanted any and all parts I animated for a collab to just be a part of the collab, Hence why Peefa was never released elsewhere by me. But since this is Nintendo, we decided it would be best to keep the collab M rated instead of A. I'm glad people like that cartoon, I wouldn't say it's my best work or anything. Someone pointed out that it's very similar to Jeff's Marvel Vs Capcom Ironman bit, and they're right. It's also inspired by the FUCK YOU, BALTIMORE commercial. One other thing I can mention, there's a sound clip in there from Speedo's S.E.X cartoon which I always felt bad for using because it's literally the easiest thing in the world to make an orgasm sound effect but back then I was an incompetent dumbass, more then than I am now. I've always worn my influences on my sleeves, and you can really tell. Regardless, it was my first real cartoon and I'm still more or less happy with the results.

2019

So, as any online animator does, I naturally decided not to upload another cartoon and sit on projects for a whole year. Fun! That isn't to say I didn't get anything done in 2019, quite the opposite. But I definitely fell for the trap and promised more than I should've. I still feel bad for asking some friends to voice for potential cartoons I was working on but never got released. That's probably why now I mostly do all the voices with just Frootlupin, just so I don't have to waste someone else's time. There was the never finished Mega Man cartoon, and my bit for the One Piece Collab, and a whole lot more that never saw the light of day. Some advice for people starting out, don't force yourself to make cartoons because you feel you have to. Have passion for the project you wanna do, then work on it. Otherwise, you'll lose motivation fast. You'll feel worse if you ask for help on it, only to not get it done.

On the flip-side, someone else asked me for help on their project. One of my very first fans @ninjamuffin99 I think reached out to me so I can do some promo art for his game, Monster Mashing. I say "I think" because honestly it was so long ago that I don't remember who talked to who first. It was really cool to have my art displayed on Steam though, even if it was a small indie game. A few months after that, Cam asked if I could do art and animation for a thing called Ludum Dare 44. Yep, one shy from the one we all know. We made a game called Paristroyer and this was my first time animating for something other than a cartoon. It was a lot of fun to come up with art and the assets, even in the small window of time we had. I remember we mapped out a lot of ideas for it, but with only two days you really couldn't do much. Even though the game's kinda meh, somehow. SOMEHOW. it got monthly-first. Later, he asked if I could be on Groundspatrol, a newgrounds podcast before the Newgrounds podcast. Odd to listen back to honestly.

I participated in my first con that year, and sold prints for the first time. While I was still trying to break into more animation, it was nice to see my illustrations have a monetary value to some. Looking back, I felt like I should've been less reserved online. Even with my interactions with friends I made, I was always shying away from anything that wasn't a personal-project. That was arrogant, and I've been trying to get better at that since.

And lets not forget,

2020

There's a lot that can be said about this year. It was one of the best and worst years of my life. I'm not gonna reflect at all on the worst of it. I've done that enough, and you can read about it here,

Part 1

Part 2

I remember that Covid-19 kinda put me in a rut, art-wise.Just the general lock down, me dropping out of college at the time, and other shit really put me in a block. But I think what got me out of it was seeing Picollage 2020. I don't know why, but seeing that culmination of artists getting together to celebrate 25 years of Newgrounds lit a fire under my ass. Even though I didn't get to participate in that one, something I would always remember until recently, I felt like I had to get back into it! If you look closely though, you can see a reference to Paristroyer done by @digimin.

One thing that really encouraged me was being featured in Slightly Artistic. Just hearing those boys gush over my Amy and Rouge piece, and Cory recognizing Topaz (which was a reference to Sonic XXX) made my day.

I think this was also the first time I tried experimenting with pencil lines and a more cel-shaded art style. But to get to the GOLDEN moment of the year. The Final Fantasy 7 Collab was announced and that felt like the time to make a come back. There's not much more I can add to the development of Peefa that I didn't talk about in this 5-year anniversary post. But I'll sum up some funny things that happened. I remember when Dave had to make a whole other chat just for NSFW updates on cartoons for me and Cory, calling it "cartoons that would make Stamper proud." Couldn't agree more. This cartoon was made during the worst bouts of my last months in college. I would purposefully wake up at 10PM and sleep at 2PM the following day to avoid daylight or interacting with my roommate. I remember taking breaks between animation and going on walks at 4AM, and running into someone else occasionally and thinking to myself "is he a serial killer, does he think I'M the serial killer?" I also remember working a lot with Cory on this one which I don't have to tell you how ground breaking it was for the dude who set me on the course to be a porn animator because of Powertrip to be giving me animation tips. If it wasn't obvious, those sex scenes are a reference, if not blatant rip off, of Frapper Spirits/Hitsuki, with some Spazkid animation thrown in there as well. I want to try to animate without using references too much anymore. It's really apparent, and I can't hide behind "it's an influence" forever. But, I love Peefa, and I'm glad everyone else did too. This was also when I got to meet @snackers, someone who has been a long-time friend of mine through Newgrounds ^_^

Things were really on the up and up...and then, well. Let's skip to 2021.

2021

After a series of events I don't want to describe occurred, I was back! With the help of a lot friends and artists here on Newgrounds, I was still able to make posts. By the time I had a normal living space again, I was kind of trying to come back full force into art. No clear goal in my mind other than to try to have fun with it. I was doing all sorts of freelance work at the time, mostly commissions. I even helped my buddy FrootLupin put out his first cartoon, a passion project we had been working on for a while. Another thing that really rocked was being a part of the Newgrounds Summer Animation Jam. It was a small thing, especially since I still wasn't in the right headspace to go full into animating again, but I used it as a chance to work on a project I've always wanted to, even now. I made a mock-parody trailer for my show Goblin Squad. Even though it was fake, I think I really did want to make that an official cartoon by that year lol. A lot has changed about that little universe I'm always peddling away at, maybe some day I'll actually put out an episode.

I also got to chat with @mkmaffo for the first time, who's also been a long-time friend on the site, we drew GF's thighs and bonded over that :)

Another amazing thing that happened, I released my most popular illustration to date, Newgrounds is Down which for a while was the official art for when Newgrounds actually went down...

This absolutely blew my mind and is probably one of my favorite moments from being a part of the Newgrounds community. It's things like this that just make being a regular member so special, you get to do stuff like this that has huge impact. Even though the site has reverted back to its original art now, I still look fondly back on those years my art would show whenever @Luis spilled beer on the server.

I also was invited to work on my second game jam. I worked with Snackers, @carmet, @jack, and my long-time GOAT @nerostratos. to make Embryo Go Go!. I think we had a week this time around, which is a lot more than two days, and really gave us time to put more love into making a game. With the extra hands, I felt like our idea came more into fruition. It's not a perfect game, but damn do I love some of the stuff we worked on with that. BTW, Embryo Go Go abbreviated spells out EGG. This was for the Egg jam, and I'm surprised not many people caught that.

To end off the year, I participated in a small charity thing hosted by @thenewgroundspodcast to create Christmas themed Newgrounds stickers. Where I got to work with @POSTBOY on some of the stickers. A lot of fun was had wrangling that all together.

2022

This was an interesting year, it was the first time I started to get real work as a freelance animator. I had helped on FlashGitz and Meatcanyon cartoons and got paid for it, an unheard of concept for me. I also participated in the FLCL collab with a small entry. Now I'll admit, I reacted kinda like a dick, but I was pretty upset that I was asked to censor some of my cartoon. I didn't think it would ever come out, so I uploaded it myself years before it was released. I haven't joined a Reanimate since, and I probably won't again.

I also did a cartoon for the Evangelion Collab, which is where I got to meet @magibauble, @arkoirisangel, and other cool artists. My memory is a bit fuzzy on the development of that one, but I do remember that I was a little concerned at putting out my first cartoon that wasn't NSFW. I didn't know how people would react, and I thought they might find it unfunny. But honestly, it wasn't a bad reception, and magi even put it as the cold opener to the whole collab. I also helped out on Lunar Kicks, though it was just a small bit of animation.

I flew out to Anime Matsuri in 2022 to participate in another con. Got to sell art and stickers again which was dope! I did have my car broken into the first night, don't fuck around in Houston, which kinda soured my mood. Sorry if I acted like a socially-awkward dick, again I really can't stress enough how much being a shut-in artist and not going out and interacting with people stunts your sociability. But overall, I had a fun time in Texas. I managed to break even, which was enough for the flight out, and I had some traditional Texan barbecue to end the trip.

Last thing I can remember was @stradomyre asking me to do some promo work for their game Dead Estate. I drew Jules and this is still probably one of my favorite illustrations ever. But I gotta rip into Steam a bit for making me censor it so much. Oh well. Sufficed to say, I fuck with the milkbar lads and should they ever need another artist or animator on the group they know where to find me.

2023

Not a whole lot can be said about 2023 that I haven't already talked about here. I graduated college, started a "career", and went to Japan. But this is when I seriously considered leaving all this behind. Big mistake! Not sure why I ever had a moment where I thought I would no longer be doing art post-graduation. It's an integral part of my life, and I wouldn't change that no matter what. Every artist feels like that maybe at some point. I did put

I did put out a personal favorite of mine, Friday Night ABORTION. Didn't do as well as I had hoped, but I still like it. I consider it a sequel to Cory's Pico Day cartoon. That's why there's that whole bit of Pico's dad sucking cocks in hell. Plus, I always wanted to mock the Exorcist in some fashion. This toon was made for what would've been the Pico Day Collab, but it was never released because SOMEONE didn't get around to finishing the credits...lol. I had a few friends help me on this cartoon, but only the true homie stayed on it. Guess they didn't want a cartoon they worked on with the name "ABORTION" in it.

In a lot of ways, 2023 sucked more than 2020. Sure, unforeseeable events plagued 2020. But 2023 was inexcusable. There's no reason to give up something you love because you feel it's the right time. It only adds to your worsening mood. I felt worthless for a while because of that. I guess I'm just a masochist, maybe I felt that everything I did at that point amounted to nothing, and that in the end nobody cared. For that I wanted to punish myself and give up the one thing I enjoyed most. I don't have to tell you how immature that is - just don't ever get to that point. And if you do, remind yourself that you only create for yourself at the end of the day - nothing more.

2024

Once again, I summed up the whole year here. This was to highlight 10K fans here on Newgrounds! Out of all my platforms, I've garnered the most fans here. It's not that it's a numbers game, but to have that many people like my work is still pretty cool. Looking back, I reflected on the fact that I was a shut-in most of the year and I didn't get much done. But I don't think that's entirely true now. I may not have done much in the scope of other years by comparison, but since 2023, I really think I got my groove back. First thing was Cookin' With Fatty, it wasn't anything significant but I remembered how fun it was to just work on something simple with friends just for the hell of it. Me and Frootlupin used to laugh at this clip for years and always joked that it would be dope to see it animated. This was something we worked on together for a while since we were both out of the game.

Another thing I really love about 2024 was putting out my first porn game with @stepford, Yukari Takeba: Social Link Maxxxing. I have always wanted to parody the scene in Persona 3 that takes place in the love hotel, it was ripe with potential. Plus, the idea of Yukari getting cummed on and shouting "Stupid faggot, little cock sucker!" in retaliation was always an idea I had to incorporate. I know Yukari gets hate on a lot, rightfully so she's kind of a bitch sometime, but I love her still. This really was a labor of love just for me and my taste. I've always wanted atleast one meet n' fuck style game on my Newgrounds page, mainly cuz of Zone-tan. While there's not much "meet", there's plenty of meat.

I also hosted the Brazil Day art contest with a hand full of other artists! This was a lot of fun and a way for me to give back to the community in some way. I'm not sure why, but Newgrounds just seems to resonate well with a lot of Brazilians I guess. If you're curious about it, browse the winners and some of the great posts here! Not sure if I'll host one again this year, got a lot of work on my plate now, but I would love to see it happen at some point. This also got me interacting with @matthewlopz and @oddlem through her OCtober - still waiting on that art trade. :D

2025

I don't want to gush over everything that has taken place in 2025 yet because the year's still going! But I really feel like I'm at a point where I'm getting more and more comfortable with my skill as an artist. I'm not at my height, but I would at least consider myself somewhat competent now. But I'll touch on a small thing for now, Picollage 2025.

As I mentioned, I didn't get the chance to participate in Picollage2020. I took that as a means that I just wasn't doing enough to deserve a spot. I swore then that I would do anything I could to try to get a spot for the next Picollage, I had 5 years after all. I worked with the Picollage 2020 print hanging by my wall all that time as a constant reminder. By the time 2025 rolled around, I started to wonder if it was gonna happen at all. So I reached out to @sabtastic and asked if I could join, if it was even gonna happen. To my surprise it seemed like no one was hosting one for this year. She gave me the go-ahead to host it myself if I wanted and I said fuck it, why not. So I grabbed as many people as I knew and interacted with through the community in the past to see if I could make this happen. It was like a culmination of all the progress I made in the last 10 years. Somehow it all came together really well, and all the artists pulled through with great work! I always wanted to be a part of Picollage, but I never knew I'd host Picollage. Couldn't have been done without the help of everyone here in the community, and that's what I love most about the site. Some of us may be close, some of us strictly talk shop. Some of us rarely talk ever. But when it comes time to pull together to make something great, it's all hands on deck. To make something just for passion, just for the love to create things. That's Newgrounds.

Picollage icons by @evilsk8r and me!

There's so much more I could mention, the tiny interactions I've had, the memes I've shared in, and just the fun I've had browsing. But I think that about sums it up for now. All I can say is I wonder what the next 10 years will hold. I'm not going anywhere - and I hope that Newgrounds sticks around and puts up with my shit for a long time to come.

LONG LIVE NEWGROUNDS!!!

My idols are dead and my enemies are in power.

Hey guys, just a quick update from me. I started a new job as of late, and I'll be moving pretty soon. I imagine I'll be busy the next few months, so I'll be closing commissions for now. You can still support me on Patreon where I'll be posting updates on future animations and High Res images. Thanks!

patreon.com/arzonaut

Hey guys! As some of you may have seen, I've been working on a lot of stuff in the background. One of those projects is launching my Patreon! This is a work in progress and I aim to figure out what people will want to see most from me. Right now, I have project files up for download, and access to future NSFW projects and sketches. As I get more members, I'd like to open up polls for character suggestions. Hopefully I can get to a point where I'm solely uploading animations, but for now I'll be balancing bigger movie projects in the background with occasional commission work and illustration.

I'm also trying to experiment with Funscripts with my movies, I've teamed up with someone who's willing to code that for any future release. So if you're into that, then check out the top pledge!

PATREON

In other news, I'm opening up comms again for the time being. I'll try to manage this with the patreon, and chances are I'll add extra variants to these illustrations as exclusives. If you're interested in that, check out the forms page.

For the quickest reply and a detailed description, fill out the forms link here. All payments are processed through PayPal, payment upfront.

Forms Link

Feel free to check out the Newgrounds commission page as well, more of the same stuff.

Newgrounds Commission Page

Shout outs to morningwood3, my 11,200th fan

Welcome to the Machine

Well, it's that time again for another Arzonaut writes a blog post to explain why he hasn't put anything out in a while post. Whenever I write one of these things, I can't help but feel I'm breaking character in a way. I don't want the subject of my work to just be about me, I want it to be my work. Plus, anything auto-biographical, no matter how relatable or real, comes off as a bit narcissistic. But I have to admit that I like writing them, I just try to make it somewhat entertaining or insightful, so someone gets something out of it. This time's no different, I hope.

Where to start? It's tough to say, because the real subject of the topic at hand isn't the year 2024, nor does the title of the post accurately depict the whole story. This is about work, the real kind of work you have to wear a monkey suit and shake hands for, and how it all blew up and set me right back where I started. See, Once I had graduated college I was kind of in a bind with what I was supposed to do. I didn't have much money saved at the time to up and move so I thought it'd be best if I try to see what this degree could actually get me. At the time, I thought I could find a balance between a stable career and still doing my art. That's when I was hired by what I'll refer to from here on out as The Big Red Tool Company. This is all pretty familiar stuff as I mentioned some of this before, and I want to stick with 2024 here so I'm just gonna provide the necessary context. Skipping ahead to about 9 months into the job, I was in a rut and I made a fascinating discovery.

See the thing was, I was really starting to get grinded down by this job. I hadn't picked up the pen in months to draw, and I felt like I was giving up a real important part of myself just because it was natural. To move up in the career and to stop clinging on to childish dreams. I was sold on a prospect of glory, that if I tough it out for a year or so, I'd get some kind of promotion worth working for, and that all my problems would be solved. I got the job because of college, so how could they be wrong? So I stayed in it out for a while, every day I'd wake up around 4 in the morning and haul my ass to several hardware stores throughout the day. My job was essentially a representative, at least on paper. In reality, I was the net all the shit fell into when the company couldn't bother to pay a merchandiser. Most the time I was by myself having to man metal beams, move wood shelving, and rearrange tons of box stock. Bare in mind, this kind of work at a big-box department hardware store requires a merchandising team. I was seriously starting to get pissed off at the idea this was advertised as an entry-level job at a big company only to be shoveling manual labor. But I've done worse and I believed you get nowhere by complaining, so I just put my head down and tried my best. Here's the important bits though, I never had to work with a team or even a manager the entire time. I reported to my manager every so often, but I was mostly in charge of my own. Everyone in my position also had to clock in from their phone, leaving us completely remote. The app we used did claim to track our location and the training harped on the issue of time-theft to the point where I had a giant paranoia that Big Brother was always watching.

I was in a bad head space, so I decided to take a vacation in November. I had the opportunity to travel to Japan with my brother! An experience I always wanted to have. There was one issue though, I didn't have enough vacation days saved up. And this to me was pretty much my 'fuck it' moment. I said to myself that I wasn't going to let this job get in the way of everything I wanted to do, so if I somehow got fired while on holiday, then so be it. It wasn't well-thought out but I guess I went with my gut at the time. Taking a leap of faith, I decided to take my company phone with me. Now, how it works is like so, everything was managed by the app so if you wanted to cash you vacation days you just do it there, and the days you had to work you had to clock-in. Down to the last day, and still in Japan, I decided to set my alarms to my usual American work time and I clocked in from work right before bed...the app was retrieving location data, and the fucker actually went through. I was shocked but I didn't think I was in the clear yet. I thought "well, I'm sure someone at I.T. is gonna have a field day when he finds this employee is clocking in from Tokyo" so I figured I'd hear the shit-storm tomorrow. Tomorrow came...nothing. I clocked out, and went on with my vacation. I did it again, and again and AGAIN. For about 4-5 extra days, a full work week, I was clocked in from the land of the Rising Sun. I jokingly thought I got away with this, but I knew it would be all over once I got home. But once I got home, and a month went by and still nothing, I realized I just got paid a full-weeks of work lounging about in Japan. That lifted my spirits.

Right around the time I got back, I knew I had what was called "a walk" scheduled with one of my stores. Essentially, someone from corporate walks with you, sees how things are, and talks about your future with the company. I was still coming down from the high of having found a glitch in the whole system of work, but I was determined that I would behave if I could just get a promotion and get out of my current position. The metaphorical Machine, aptly taken from Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here, describes a world in which one has to sell ones self, ones soul, to enter the corporate machine. A collection of cogs and bolts dressed in suits and flashing fine smiles, casually in front of the people they hate on the inside. I was greeted by my divisional in an unusual way. Before even meeting, I was pulled aside by my manager and told that my divisional had caught the decal put on the back of my truck, a lightning bolt, and demanded I remove it. I thought that was farfetched considering I owned my truck and I believe I have the right to put whatever I want on my property. When I tried to explain so, my manager said "It doesn't matter, don't bring it up with her and pretend you heard it and go through your walk." Just like that, I met my divisional with fake smile and a senseless handshake.

This was a micro-managing bullshit issue that'd eat up to much of the story. But to explain why a lightning bolt decal would rile up my divisional so much would help explain future segments in the story. The thing was, the company gave us these trucks at first, sort of like work-vehicles. Another thing that made the job so appealing to me at the time. They were plastered with company decals, but I didn't mind since I never owned something so new. Fast forward a bit, and the company decided just then and there they were getting rid of the company trucks, and offered to sell the remaining fleet to the remaining drivers. I had a pretty good offer, before they all started to spike in price, and I decided I would take it. I bought it in full, and I even went and removed the decals myself...except for one teeny-tiny lightning bolt on the tailgate. I didn't think that would be my downfall. I'm a stubborn guy, so I kept it on regardless.

And now we're caught up to 2024, and the cat and mouse game. See, this decal wasn't the only instance of insubordination on my part. However I'd like to say that I still think I was in the right...for most of it anyway. The issue was that my divisional just plain didn't like me, not sure why but when someone has it in their mind to dislike you, well, in business that means you're on the way out. Any time I'd ask her about the prospects of promotion, I was denied even the chance to interview. I'd let some time go by and do some more work, no changes. And without fail, with every interaction I'd have with my divisional, I'd get a call from my manager telling me what upset her about that interaction, instead of just telling to me straight. Email too long? Fuck you, demerit. Applied for a different team? Fuck you, demerit. Used a sick day, huh? Fuck you, demerit. The worst of it was, she'd always have on an optimistic voice on like she carried no ill-will. Only for my manager to give me the brass tacks. I was starting to feel that the reality was, I'd be forced to do this shit for almost 2 years now, and I'll never get moved up. And that really pissed me off, if I was gonna give up art and animation over this only to have me get my shit pushed in with a false carrot-and-stick act, well they made the wrong sucker.

It starts off small, no one ever goes balls-deep their first go. As a test, I'd leave work a little early. I wouldn't tell anyone, and I wouldn't prematurely clock out. I'd run the rest of my shift at work till I was done. 1 hour. 2 hours. Let's leave at lunch. You know? I really feel like staying in bed. And this went on, and on. Over the course of several months in the year, I must've went from an average of 45-50 hours worked a week, and dropped it gradually 5 hours or so. Weeks I would work 30 hours, then 20, then 15, to even 5 hours worked a week out of the 50 I clocked in. It even got to a point towards the end that I had stopped showing up to work all together. And you might be asking, how? How is that possible that no one caught on? To be honest, I'm as dumbfounded as you are, that such a glaring hole could exist within a company that nets over 20 billion dollars annually. I was a victim of blessed circumstance. See I was in charge of "running" several hardware stores within an assigned territory, but I really didn't have to do much once I got there. The company would assign me different tasks from an app, and all I'd have to do was mark it complete once they were supposedly finished. It was like there was a nonexistent system of checks and balances. Clock in from your phone with a location finder that doesn't actually care where you punch in from. Make sure all your tasks are complete by deadline, but no one can verify if you've actually done them. The store associates weren't obligated to check in on me, after all, I didn't work for them, I worked for a separate entity and corporation. Most of them didn't even know I existed if I didn't make my appearance known. It seemed like I had gotten on such good terms with the staff of these stores in the beginning, they never questioned my work. Even times where I would have to send a picture, or work with a teammate, I could negate this with excuses. I told Snackers once, I'm living out my own personal Costanza, I've never worked so hard to avoid work.

This personal revenge of mine was getting ridiculous. I had stolen thousands of hours of company time and cashed it all in. What was even stranger, no one still on my team had suspected a thing. I begun to think this must be so easy, surely everyone else does it. Well, some did but not NEARLY to the extent that I did, most would just leave an hour early sometimes. Frankly, after a while I started to get fed up with it. Not the getting paid while I sleep part mind you. The fact remained I wasn't making any changes with my life. That was the whole point of taking the job in the first place. So I decided I would try one more time to cement myself in a stable position moving forward, at the company retreat. It was around September that our entire division had set to meet in Orlando for training. I knew that my divisional, and that other higher-ups from the company, would be there and that this could be a good chance to turn over a new leaf. Well that leaf had a big shit stain on the other side of it.

I got up early to go to Orlando the first day, I wanted to make a good impression. Being the first one from my team that was there, I walked right up to the hotel convention center and tried to get my room and key. Keep in mind, pretty much everyone from the company was invited so I was speaking to someone from the company pretty much throughout the whole trip. The desk girl told me to step to the side, have some breakfast, and wait for the room and key. About 5 minutes later, I get a call from my manager almost panicked asking me why the fuck I was there so early. I thought it strange, so I explained my reasoning. My manager told me that word got up to my divisional and she got pissed to the news. Apparently, it was her impression that everyone arrive at the assigned time, those that didn't should be working in the store instead of traveling. My manager told me I should head out to the parking lot, and avoid my divisional. I excuse myself and pop a squat outside and wait for everyone else. Next I find out that my little stunt had every other member of my team get a call explaining the "check-in procedure." Everybody knew, it was because of me. Not off to a great start.

At this point, I believe my frustrations got the better of me and I had half a piece of mind to tell my divisional off. But I had respect for my personal manager, and my team, I didn't want to get them into more trouble because of me. The rest of the day seamlessly went off without incident, and me and some of the coworkers I knew from all over got to do some company sponsored gambling, not with real money but it was a fun night. The next morning, my manager asks if I have any duct tape with me because he's setting up some signage. I got out bright early, and went to my truck that was parked right out my room. Soon as I got the tape, I look up and who do I see but my divisional. Of all the fucking buildings she got, she had to get the room right above mine. She looks down to me, sees me by truck and asks "did you request to keep that lightning bolt on?" I couldn't believe it, in that split second I really thought this psycho couldn't possibly hold a grudge over something so benign as a decal. I told her no, because it was my property, and then I walked off. For the first time, I didn't see her fake smile. I pretty much went scorched earth after that. Soon as I saw my manager, I gave my quit date.

The rest of the trip I was a loud-mouthed, unappreciative, wise-ass. It was like I was back in high school, and I had an argument with a teacher while on a field trip. During the CEO address, I raised my hand to ask a question. Now I wouldn't have said something too inappropriate, probably, but before I had the chance the mic went silent and we moved to the next topic. I see my divisional frantically texting. No way I thought, she couldn't have. I find my manager (he was always straight with me and generally a cool guy) laughing showing me the text to pull the plug on me. She told him "DONT YOU DARE PUT HIM ON". Once the training came to an end, we said our good byes. The divisional usually talks to us before saying good bye, but all I did was walk right past her. Which according to a co-worker, "made her stare daggers at me." Now this childish squabble is pretty pathetic for what it is. But I wish I could tell a different story, that's how it went.

It was October, my last month working. Like I said, I didn't even bother showing up any more. I would routinely set my alarm to clock in, roll back to bed, and spend the rest of the day home until it was time to clock out. When my divisional found out that I was quitting, all she told my manager was she was mad she couldn't fire me herself. Which, in fairness, had anyone found out about the time-theft, I'm sure she would have a good reason for it. It seems kind of ironic to ask for something as stupid as a promotion, usually awarded to those that work, to someone like me who didn't work at all this year. And I wish I could say I had an ulterior motive, some grandiose reason like revenge or some higher purpose. But in reality, I just did it because I wanted to get away with it. I cant exclaim enough how good it feels to get paid to do nothing. A selfish, greedy, and entitled manifestation was created. Maybe my quitting was my lazy conscience finally getting around to pull the plug on this whole affair. Or maybe I felt that I was going to get caught eventually, better to leave now than later. I can't really say for sure what the point of it all was or what now, other than that was the year working. And my time in the machine.

Traveling

Outside of work, there were two places that I had visited this year worth noting, Georgia and California. Georgia was good fun with friends, but overall uneventful. The only thing worth mentioning was drinking mead and eating roasted turkey leg at a renaissance fair was really worth the price of admission. So I'm going to focus on California for this segment. It was around September that I decided to visit the Golden State, right around my birthday. I guess you could call it a gift to myself but really I just wanted to visit some friends I have out there.

There's a strange feeling you get when you visit California for the first time. Probably not if you live there, and maybe I'm overestimating it, but growing up you always hear about it for better or for worse. There are few states that you can visit in the US that you have preconceived notions for before visiting. Being from Florida, I know all that comes with it. I would say the same for places like New York or Texas. But California has this almost awe-inspiring loathsome aura around it. You don't know whether to hate it or to love it, or to hate the fact that you love it. Personally, I still don't know which am I. The sun sets in the west, and dusk in Los Angeles always had the shine reflected off the pacific ocean right before nightfall. I felt it was a man-made utopia. It's practically all desert there, and just beyond the hill that's plainly obvious, nothing is supposed to grow naturally there. Everything was artificial there, from the fake palm trees brought in from Florida, to the superficial lives led by the poor and famous. But it's a place where so many things had their start, like the movies and music and of course cartoons that grew to inspire me. I mean, just listen to californication and you get the jist.

She had time in her busy schedule as an assistant to one of those up and famous types to hang out with me. I visited an old friend, who's somewhat like an older sister and is influence for Clem in that show I'm always trying to get done. We hadn't hung out in a while, and it is especially different to see how work schedules are made there. Before we could even go exploring, she had a sit down with her manager and simply said "this'll take about 5 minutes, I may be fired in the end or I may have my next two weeks worth or work." Luckily, she was fine and she showed me around all the sights of LA. As far as cities go, it's about what you'd expect and every rumor of the crowds of grifters, tourists, and hobo junkies is accurate. I didn't even go to Santa Monica beach, opting for Newport pier a few days earlier. We had more fun hanging out around little Tokyo and some of the shops near down town. Now this was like being back in high school, but in a much better way.

We went out for drinks that night, but only after we had stopped at one of North Hollywood's sex shops. And I gotta say, after playing Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines, I was pretty disappointed with how clean everything was. I mean, outside it looked like your typical seedy dungeon, but inside it was all bright, neatly organized, staff was friendly and even recently showered. In all seriousness, I'm glad we weren't brought into the back of someone's snuff studio. Then we checked out an arcade and played some Simpsons arcade.

I'm 26 now and she can still out drink me. I was just glad we found a bar that was essentially 'buy 1 get 1 free' that night on drinks. Normally when we hang out, I ask her what she was doing when she was at the age I'm at currently. That gives me insight on how differently things turned out for me, and for her considering that's in the past. Still, no matter how much older you get, you still have times where you're lost. This doesn't stop her from lecturing me on my date life, albeit it is horrible (single moms, people from work, typical no-bueno situations.) Even if I get her to laugh with some of those stories, she'll always ask me "Why don't you date someone normal?" I never have an answer. Just before we wrapped up, we took some pictures in the photo booth. When you're drunk, you can really capture yourself with others.

The next day was my birthday, and we decided to head to Griffith Observatory for the occasion. Getting up there took a while, but it was the one piece of advice my pops gave me when I had mentioned I was visiting LA. It's definitely worth visiting if you're ever in the area. You can see just how small the Hollywood sign is, and just how generic the LA skyline is, overshadowed by the vastness of the world. But it's still a nice view. When it's night, you really can see the stars through those telescopes. I know that's common knowledge, but it's just a nice thing to do. When we got back, she surprised me with a cheese cake, my favorite dessert, for my birthday. As far as birthdays go, not bad at all.

NEETdom

So what did I do with all that free time I got not working? I wish I could say I spent all of it drawing, glued to my tablet finally with a means to bypass the responsibilities of being an adult. No. As bluntly as I can put it, I was living as if I was a full-blown shut in. But there were some projects here and there that I managed to finish.

In January, I had started what I thought was the next step as far as my animation career goes with Mercs, which was basically just me combining my efforts with Frootlupin under one channel instead of having two separate ones. All we managed to put out though was one animatic of a soundbite from Airsoft fatty, whoops! While we do have other projects that we're working on, even now, it turns out they were too big to finish within the year. Sorry, but I guess we'll just have to try our hardest this year to get things out, quicker and simpler. Until then, we're still working on our animated pilots, and we hope we can show you all soon.

In May, I finally put out my first porn-game? It was really more a collection of loops connected with some buttons and sound effects. I had wanted to make an animated rendition of the events from persona 3 with Yukari for a long time. I had those sound effects I ripped from the game for years before I finally got around to finishing it. I was able to get some help from my friends too like Stepford for the coding. I've definitely thought about just putting the game out as a downloadable, that way more people could at least play it. It's weird to be proud of, but I admire Zone-tan and Deprixon's work and those early flash games, guess I just wanted one of my own.

In September/ October I hosted the Brazil Day Art Contest, with some other Newgrounds peeps, Abstract, CometZz, MitsuTan, Kazukoto, MatthewLopz. It was a big learning experience since I had never hosted my own contest before, but I think it went well overall. I'm not sure I'll be on for this year if it's hosted again, but I had a lot of fun with it. I was also kinda surprised that even though it was inspired by Brazilian Hatsune Miku, Brazilian Hatsune Miku ended up winning in the end. It was definitely deserved, and all the contestants did a stellar job. I also Participated in Oddlem's OCtober with a few submissions, good fun.

What about the rest of all that time? Honestly nothing but a waste of time. I had my art projects here and there, but around the time I left my job, it was like I didn't have a care in the world. That's when I became a NEET and really lived up to that title. I became so accustomed to that lifestyle of sleeping in, putting things off for tomorrow, that without a steady income I just regressed to a being of sloth. I think I was sapped creatively by the fallout from my work, knowing that it was all for naught. I was, and still am, at a crossroads for life. Unabashedly, I became absorbed in manga, anime, and visual novels. Pretty much all I would do all day is indulge in that, for months. I wanted to put off thinking about the future as much as possible, like when I graduated high school but wasn't set on college yet. My whole experience this year feels like it could reflect Chaos; Head, creepily so. From the making of schedules to avoid getting fired from work, playing video games nonstop, polishing my anime figur- It was like junk food for the mind, and I survived off it for a while. Until, I really started to get sick of it. I remember reading Fate: Stay Night and thinking to myself, am I seriously sitting here reading a plot where a dude has to replenish his familiar's magical energy by fucking her. That similar thought echoed in my head about a dozen times with several other visual novels, manga, and anime.

Oh, and those that are curious,

1. Full Metal Daemon
2. The Shell
3. Steins; Gate
4. White Album 2
5. Fate

As I finish this and look back, it was a weird year. A lot happened, and a lot didn't happen. I suppose that's an analogy for life. I still feel somewhat at that crossroads, not sure what to do with my life. Up until now, I always had a plan for what's next or at least something going on. Almost like a survival instinct, I had to finish what needed to be done. But I got to a point in life where I really got to experience a lot of what I wanted to, and the small instances of escapism I embarked on turned out to be my natural state. That is to say, being this shut-in is where I'm most comfortable. I've traveled, worked, had relationships, survived disasters, and I'm still going back to this. Obviously I know I can't do that forever. So now, I'm wondering what I should do next. I don't think another "career" like one I had before, where I was just as expendable, would be worth it. I wonder if I should go back to school, or am I gonna try being an animator again, whatever that means. It's easy to cling onto dreams like that, because in itself it is escapism from the mundane. I try not to stress about it, and I don't want to give myself demanding goals. I think this year, I'm just gonna do what comes naturally and see what happens.

Aftermath

Some final thoughts and shout-outs,

If you'd like to check out some other news, please check out the post by @MatthewLopz and commission him if you can! Him and his wife @Oddlem have been real cool to me this year, and it was nice getting to know em!

Check out @Kazukoto and up his followers already! Kaz was my sensei, and taught me everything there is to know to drawing titties. Seriously tho, dude had a newgrounds before and wiped it. We still trying to make a comeback.

Lastly, go check out some of the other recaps highlighted in @tomfulp 's recap post. Pretty much what gave me the inspiration to make this one.

Welp, I'm almost out of characters. If there's any typos or errors, I'll fix em' tomorrow.

Peace & Love.

For those that know to be in the know, you know? Idk what im saying. Feel free to post your songs.

I don't vote

Poke

N-Word Pass ™ good for one use only.

THE GRADUATE

So it's been about a month now since I finished up school, and as I enter a corporate world with taxes and insurance plans, I think about what all this was built up to be. Just to think I was homeless a few years back and now I'm at a position where I stand to make a decent living, it's odd because I never expected this. I thought it would be more monumental, like movies, but it sorta just happened one day and all of the sudden the life I knew was over. No more papers to write, or classes to take up time. With this, I started a new job, which is nice. Now-a-days, we have access to all the 20th century books and movies telling us how work will sap you of your life, one moment you're getting all the things you wanted and then 20 years fly by and you wonder what happened. I think about that and I wonder if I even gave myself a second to get sucked into this cozy lifestyle, maybe I don't assign value to things to make them easier to get rid of. Honestly, most times I think about that old asperation. It's like I subvert expectations whenever I go to school or go to work, I like being able to draw fucked-up shit, or at least "indecent," there's way worse stuff on the internet. Haven't done it a long time, not as much as I'd like or used to. It's calling me back, and I hope now I can finally breathe a little and do what I want to do. Just takes some time and motivation.

Plans for me moving forward are pretty much the same. Keep helping out my boy @frootlupin with his project, and work on my own. I'm hoping to release more stuff along this year, more movies and more art. It's gonna take some time but it'll be worth it. Besides, for once I'm finally able to sit down and have an hour or two to myself. Could play video games, but gotta draw and say I tried in life, hell I'd rather be drawing anyway. Don't have any teasers unfortunately yet. Maybe I'll start cataloging a dev diary on here for progress on up-coming projects.

Welp, gotta sleep. Thanks for reading my thought dump.

OH, and check out my last toon if you haven't. didn't win a Pico Day award, but I figured that comes with the crutch of carrying an Adult label ¯\_(ツ)_/¯